Well its official... I am certain that deployments suck!!!! No matter how far or for how long... no matter how you slice it... they all just suck! I'm not gonna lie... this is probably THE hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. It's the hardest thing to say goodbye to someone, and literally live without them for "X" amount of time. *sigh* I'm not complaining... I know "I signed up for this when I married a military man" I get it... it still doesn't make it any easier. There are so many times throughout my day that I just wanna pick up my phone and send him a text message, or I wanna meet him for lunch. As sad as it is... I actually miss cooking for him at the end of the day when he has come home from work. No matter how much I busy myself or try to ignore that giant clock... my day just drags on. And I have such a lonnnnnnng way to go. I honestly believe that anyone who tells you their hubby's deployment has "flown by" is giving you the biggest slice of bullshit ever! LOL! There is just no way... unless your busy (like running around like a chicken with its head cut off) every second of the day... then I can see how "time flys" but for most of us that just can't be true. I have heard from him a few times since he's been gone but I am gonna be honest here and say (because its MY blog, and I am entitled to feel how I want to) its not enough. I don't want the "oh honey, its gonna be ok... he'll be home in no time" from my "friends". I don't want the extra pay, I don't want the extra benefits... I want my damn husband home! I get it... everyone has a turn and this is his... it still sucks. I swear I am NOT complaining... LOL! I am just not used it it... yes, it is my first time... yes, this time is the hardest for me. The only comfort is that it will be the only time I have to get through this. Yup, after this year... we are done. My hubby was never a lifer... we've enjoyed the Air Force life while it has lasted and yes, it's been good for us, but its time for us to move on for bigger and better things. Honestly these days I just can't wait for it! In lighter news... (ha, ha lighter... wait for it... here comes the punch line...) I've lost 6 lbs so far! Skinny jeans, leggins and bikinis here I come... ok maybe not the skinny jeans and leggins, I still don't think I'd ever wear them... not even If I weighed 100 pounds... no I rocked the 80's look once, I do not care to do it again LOL! So yeah, depression diet is well underway and moving along smashingly! Ohhh and my original wedding ring fits again! YAY! I just can't wait for school to be out (8 more weeks) and then we are on VACATION!!! And getting the heck outta dodge! I've got loads of plans for summer... like hanging out on a beach in Florida, going to amusement parks in Orlando and going white water rafting in North Carolina! I hope the next few weeks fly by that's for sure! After that it will be a piece of cake... right?! LOL! Anyway thanks for listening to my gripe and complaints... and since this is my first deployment any kind words of wisdom from you veterans out there would be greatly appreciated! :)
My husband is getting ready to leave next month on his first deployment, so I'm right behind you on this whole journey! The only positive/advantage I have going into this first deployment is the fact that my husband has been gone for the last (almost) 8 months doing all of his initial entry training, so I'm used to him being away from the house. It's still going to suck like crazy and be hard knowing he's over there & having to deal with limited communication for the 4-6 months he'll be gone, but the separation part of the deployment won't be as difficult on me as it could be (or at least that's what I'm telling myself now to make the time before he leaves easier). My husband tried to pull the whole "think about the extra pay" thing on me when talking about the pluses to the deployment, and he just doesn't seem to understand that no amount of money can make being away from him any easier.
ReplyDeleteThanks Andrea! I'll be thinking about you, hope all goes well and his deployment goes off without a hitch. I hope he stays safe and I pray he has good comm to be able to talk with you. :) ((Hugs)) my "mili battle buddy" :)
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