At a Loss

I am at a loss today. I found out that one of mine and my husbands best friends has passed this morning. He was my husbands best friend in college. I am shocked and bewildered... I saw the news and I just kept saying no, no, no... and then I asked how does this happen? Why does this happened? And the more I think about it the more I cant think of any reason or purpose. He had everything to live for, he just recently was married to the woman of his dreams last March (they haven't even been married a year yet.) Last summer they bought a beautiful new house and things were going well at work. I'm going through a cascade of emotions today, I go from blank to angry to sad to shocked all over again. He was just going in for surgery one of more than a dozen hes had before, it was supposed to be the last time he was going to have it done. He had been hurt in a car/bicycle accident a few years ago and barely made it thought that. Out of all the injuries from the accident his leg had the most extensive damage the surgeons had placed hardware through out his leg to help with the healing and after about a year he ended up needing it more that originally planned. Now after 3 years he was going to have the surgery to remove it. We had heard that he was having complications during the surgery and that he was in critical condition. Then this morning I woke up to a loss. A part of heart feels like it's breaking. I see no rhyme or reasoning for what has happened. I am just so shaken up and the only thought I keep producing is that it can be gone just like that... in an instant.

This is us in Jacksonville my in-laws on June 15, 2007. My husband is to the right of me and Jim is to the left of me. This is one of the best weekends we had together.