Its almost 9pm here and can I just say for the record that I am
little nervous freaking out about tomorrow. Its my follow up appointment with infertility doc. I think its just all hitting me... I think I am frustrated beyond belief that I still don't know what's wrong with me. I am sad, because I feel like my AF is just around the corner, and pessimistic about also not accomplishing anything at tomorrows appointment because he will want to wait till next cycle to try anything... yup, that means waiting another month. With my birthday right around the corner all this just brings me full circle to square one. I wish I could just hold my breath or stand on my head until I get pregnant... at this point I'd probably believe and try just about anything! I am truly just irritated at this point! The worst part is feeling all these "symptoms" when I know its just that big fat negative test I'm going to face next week. I am so beyond sick of testing! And let me just say its getting expensive! I seriously think that sam's club should stock their shelves with these and ovulation kits! Ive got the perfect spot too... right in between the trojan condom's and the prenatal vitamins they have stocked. Agggggh! Ok now that I've got all that out... I feel better. I seriously hope tomorrow goes well but I really have my doubts. Its just getting harder and harder for me to stay positive... I feel like every time I get to see just a hint of light at the end of the tunnel, I get mowed down by some stupid train. :( So to be continued tomorrow...
Goodluck tomorrow! Sending a prayer your way!
ReplyDeleteGood luck tomorrow! I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better about all of this.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure anything I say will help, but Spring is coming soon, I'll be thinking "Springy, new life, new growth" thoughts for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that your doc has thought about this, and I'm only suggesting this based on my own trouble getting preggers, but have you had your thyroid tested? If you've seen an endocrinologist, I'm sure he's done the TSH test, but I thought I'd at least ask.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're having a bad day. :(
Thanks guys! I really appreciate positive thoughts and prayers... I really need them. I really could hug each and every one of you! Your are truly great friends!
ReplyDelete@Larissa I haven't yet seen an Endo doc yet... but I have thought about my TSH being off... its funny that you mentioned it, because just last night my throat started to kinda hurt and its only done that one other time in my life like it did last night and that is when I had blood drawn and my TSH and Free T4 is off. Soooo Im gonna talk to the doc about it today and maybe he will want to send me for a test. The last time they said my thyroid was off because I had a huge surge of Estrogen and they thought I was preggers back then... I hate to hope on nothing but it could be the same thing this time and if thats true than that little pain could be a good sign. God I hope so...
ugh i feel your pain. we'll be going to the doc when I get home from my trip. we had another BFN and 4 people I know got BFP! I'm so down and angry and just hating God right now... I'm hoping everything goes good for you! You deserve this so much. Maybe we'll get pregnant together =]
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better after your follow-up - i had to wait almost 2 months for my follow-up, though the doctor said during the HSG that everything was fine... everything is always fine, yet nothing seems to work the way it's supposed to. anyways, at my follow-up they gave me progesterone and clomid that they can adjust over the phone and a standing order for blood tests, so i don't have to back for 3-6 months now, so that's encouraging! i hope that you're equally encouraged at yours!
ReplyDeleteSomehow i missed this but my cousin seriously stood on her head. After a year of epic failure it worked.
ReplyDelete