So I couldn't stand it any longer and I took a test. Mother natures gift is supposed to be given to me today, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I have no symptoms and no signs of "it" coming at all and I dunno what to do. To say that I am disapointed that the test was negative is an understatement. I should have known better... not to get my hopes up to high... hell, who gets pregnant on the first try anyway right?... Oh wait... I know who... all the worthless bitches of the world. I can count on both hands how many worthless, wanna-be mothers I know that have children and are getting pregnant. I know I shouldn't whine and cry about this... I know I should be happy that I have the chance, but is that really the truth? Do I really have the chance? That's just it... I don't know. Well one thing is for certain... I am calling the appointment line tomorrow and getting a doc appointment straight away... I don't think I can handle going through months and months of disappointment like this. I guess the only thing I can say that will be good coming out of all this is that I will probably lose a ridiculously, drastic amount of weight from all this hurt. What hurts the most is this is all Ive ever wanted... to create life... I am a mom to a wonderful 4 year old, that I wouldn't trade for the world but I feel incredible sadness that I cannot provide her a brother or sister. I see the struggles she has of being an only child, they are the same struggles I went through as a child myself. If I'm not meant to create life, then what good am I?
So here's to trying to have a baby before your 30! Its so unfair... FML
Woot, it let me comment, lol
ReplyDeleteI totally agree about worthless people having babies. Seems like all they have to do is sneeze and they are preggo! And it's not like they are responsible for them either.
I've been wanting another one. I only have a boy. But I have PCOS so I doubt it'll happen.
But I wish you luck!
I'm so sorry you're disappointed, Jess. To say try to relax and not think/worry about it sounds trite but sometimes it's for the best. It seems like pregnancy often happens when you least expect it - I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, I am feeling better today about the whole situation. I still haven't gotten "it" but Im not going to stress out about it because I know that will only delay it. If it doesn't come soon though I will be making a doc appointment.
ReplyDeleteSo what do I do when I get depressed.. make awesome homemade chocolate chip cookies! LOL!
But seriously, thanks for being supportive, you guys ROCK! :)